Don’t ever ask someone who is apparently fat if she is pregnant.

Don’t ever look to someone when talking…in urinals. Nay! Don’t talk at all!

Try as hard as you can to focus talking to a female even when her cleavage is “luring” you to stare. A glance will be acceptable though.

Never ever ask a person if he is gay even though you think he is. Wait for his confession! {Shocking and revealing!}

Don’t ever look to anyone especially a male…while eating a banana. {Enuf said!}

If you really mad at someone, use your imagination in killing him “thrice” in different ways. They will never know. I know kinda mean but do it just in your head! You’ll feel better. {Lol}

If you’re like me, who gets irritated with people smoking and somehow you’re still concern…tell them this…

Fact! According to Reader’s Digest – Every time you smoke, you lose 30 minutes of your life. But, whenever you have sex, gives you additional an hour more to live!

{This always leaves them thinking. Lol}

Side note:

Interesting updates about myself that you might as well copy…in case you are interested and get inspired to do:

1. I’ve been reading books. As in novel(s). Actually, I’m in my 3rd book now. {First time to complete a novel. I’m surprised as well!}
 
2. I managed not to eat pork for almost 3 weeks now. Good eh?
 
3. I rarely eat rice. {Not common, to think where I’m currently in…geographically}
 
4. I am not on diet!
 
5. I am looking good…everyday…in my dreams! Lol Well, I feel I really am though. {Talking about confidence eh?!. Lol}
 
6. I’m changing my apartment….way closer to our office. {No more leaks!}
 
7. I’m going on vacation next month! Finally!

Last side note: {Promise!}
 

WP congratulated me for completing my 25th post. So, for that, Thank you WP!

WP message for completing my 25th post!

Insipid :)

Anyways, the things I have noticed today were literally happened. Some of my observations and comments were might be bit harsh but you can’t blame me. These are ways I perceived things. And in addition, last time I checked, I’m still human and as a human I’m entitled to laugh to humor.

Well, here they are:

First, I just saw a funeral service today on the road. Hmm?! So?!, you might be wondering what’s seems to be interesting about this funeral service. Well, I’m glad you’d asked! Because this is no ordinary funeral service. What I heard is really bazaar. Yes! Instead of the typical sad song playing while heading to his/her last stop. The funeral van is playing Madonna’s song. I forgot the song because I was really amazed and I kid you not, that service was really head turner.

After taking all that in, it gave me a thought that he/she was just really a “die-hard” (get it die and funeral? Lol) fan of Madonna. (I just hope she/he didn’t die virgin – A bit harsh! Well, sue me!)

Second, here is something that made me laugh. Few minutes after seeing the unorthodox funeral service which I think was really clever, I saw (excuse me for the adjective) a very fat lady jaywalking in a pretty obvious no crossing zone. At first, It didn’t really catch my attention until I’d noticed a fast running car close to her. Although, she successfully crossed to the “other side” and without any harm but seeing her walking very slow and to think the hindrance or probably handicap condition of her obvious weight was not really her main concern. She just simply wanted to cross the other side of the road…faster (Hmm, really ironic). Well, I’m just glad that she made it safely because I don’t want to see that road oily in case…you know, something unfortunate happens. And, I hope her reason is far more valid other than the Dunkin Donut shop on the other side. Lol (But having that thought, made it more even funnier.)

Apologies for all the fat people but seriously use the “Overpass” – you might be surprise the benefits of using the stairs. Lol

This third one is something I can say nice and interesting. As I head to my apartment using a public vehicle, we were probably 8 passengers there and 5 of them were kids. And, in those 5, 2 were sisters and the other is with her dad. But what interesting was this kid (one with her dad) had been staring at me for a quite sometime and I don’t know why.

Was it because I look good? (Lol) OR I think she was staring at me because I was bit relaxed, humming and the only person wearing shades? (Second question is more believable right?). Anyways, since she has been staring at me and I don’t know why, my silliness sets it. I made “peace sign” at her and smile hence she looked away (just what I taught). After that, these 2 sisters started to stare. After few minutes, they looked away and this kid again started to look. This scene started me to laugh…inside. Are they playing on me or just seriously haven’t seen a good-looking guy…ever since! Lol

Luckily, I know how to break the ice and remove the awkwardness. And luckily again, there was a sweet pudding vendor inside the vehicle which was just sitting adjacent to me. So, I started asking the vendor if what was it and if it was still new and delicious. He replied –Yes! I just took this to my manufacturer.

As my voice stood out, all these kids including their respective guardians look at me which gave me a chance to ask them if they all want pudding. All of them (kids) started looking at their guarding (probably asking for permission) which all agreed but some of them still shy which needed for their guardians encouragement to take the pudding. Sigh! this is story is too long to finish…to make this third part short…I end up treating them sweet pudding and we all smiled and of course said “thank yous” and “your welcomes”.

Bottom-line is try to do something nice to someone random and in unexpected way…you will be surprise how it will made you feel after that. But, be cautious because you might mislead them ( i.e. pedophile) Lol

Last one and sadly I have 2 zits in my face. But the thing about me and my so-called “relationship” with my zits is that…they simply come and go. Should be embarrassed? Yes! Should I be worried and gave me reason to make my day miserable? Of course not!

And since I’m a bit embarrassed showing it to “stereotypes” I just use a bit of my confidence and brought me to what I believe a “funny” mantra to use –

“Wear clothes for the job you want! Not for the job you have!”

I feel I wanted to be a Oakley or Ray Ban model. So, I am wearing Ray Ban as we speak…in my office…doing my work..while listening to Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder..Picture that! Lol!

Again, another day to laugh and enjoy life.

Have a great day!

Approved by:

Insipid :)

I don’t know what will be your reaction (As if I care! Lol) but I hope, at least, one note in the list will make you laugh! Anyways, enough said and just enjoy.

1. Nov. 19 – World Toilet Day! (Wow! I didn’t know that! Ehh, Let me mark my calendar)

2. I learn today to never initiate high five as much as possible. Coz, sometimes the person you want to high five with is not aware or might be preoccupied instead of high fiving you back. Lol

3. There is a pretty good reason I did not go to military…hint (Grenade!)

4. They say running is an effective way to lose weight and be healthy…but the question is…will it be safe especially if a dog full of rabies tries to chase you to death? – picture it! Hilarious!

5. I have a hint feeling that my colleague is…gay!!!

6. A very awkward moment when you are inside the comfort room; apparently just zipping your pants and a very obvious gay comes in and instinctively look at each other. (Just the two of you…hmmm, more like scary!)

7. I realized it’s already February which made me realized more…”Why I am still single?!” Lol

8. I’ve seen a weather forecast in Haiti! And found out that it is pretty much hot everywhere in that country – and, I’d asked myself…”Why they still have forecast there?” Hihihi – laaarious!

9. Going back to my kid days, I wish whenever I watch “He-man or Conan” the theme song is LFMAO – I’m sexy and I know it! So, I can dance while watching. Lol

10. Robots will take our jobs soon…especially, if I’m sneaking at my work and doing this!

11. Speaking of Robots! Do you know Japan faces decline of their  pollution population. (Well, I will surely volunteer and not let that happen! [ Concerned evil laugh! Bwuuhaahaay!]  Lol)

12. I don’t believe in Mayan prophecies or Nostradamus stating the world will end at 2012. I do, however, believe in the increase of freaking tax and inflation rate!

Finally, I have to go back to work now before I end up losing the capability to pay tax! Lol

Have a great day everyone!

Approved by:
 

Insipid :)

As normal reaction, I stepped back to give them space to settle in and of course my “observe mode”
sets in as well. And, here’s what have been transpired :

(Conversation were translated in English – Sort of!)

Guy 1: Beep* beep* beep*, so tired dude!

Guy 2: Yeah, I know! We were so hype about (drinking session) last night…f***!! That was so sick!

Guy 1: “Hoooo! Beep* beep* beep*, what time did you go home?”

Guy 2: “Beep* beep* beep*, It was already late blah blah blah…and a lot more blah blah blah.”

Guy 1: Beep* beep* beep*, Sigh, just want to go home and rest today.

Guy 2: Beep* beep* beep*, Are we not going to “John Doe’s house (Forgot the name) today?

Guy 1: F****** S***!!!, Yeah! We have to!

First of all, I am not sure if it’s rude to take note of their conversation. Because, apparently, as I have mentioned, we were inside the elevator – So, I have no choice but to absorb all of that. Secondly, don’t blame me if I wanted to write about happened because…again…I personally think, how they talked to each other and how they put cursing with every sentence they’d used  is really interesting and funny enough. That’s why I decided to write about it.

Although, I must say that, I think people tend to curse to emphasize with their emotions and some try to include cursing together with their words/sentences just to sound “cooler” which I think the reason why these to guys talked like this. Honestly, I don’t really care how these two guys talk to each other and decided to use the curse words several times – because, at the end of the day…it’s them and this is me. I am in no position to judge and no intention to voice out what my own opinion directly to them. This post is solely for my own reaction, only.

Maybe, they are just talking this way to sound “cooler” and “hip”. Maybe, they talk like this to sound like “a-guy-who-is-so-cool-by-cursing-ahhhh-lot”. Maybe, we will never know. Lol

Anyways, I don’t want to discuss further about how the way they talked. All I want to point out is, and as per my personal opinion, cursing is no way cooler especially if you use it several times…as in several times.

Approved by:

Insipid!

This year of 2012, I have finally decided “Moving Out”.

Going back last year, I was already thinking to move out and start living alone. I have asked myself several questions if I can do it but due to several reasons…I was convinced that I can’t do it… yet. I realized that I just came back working abroad and pretty much don’t have a regular source of income to shoulder my expenses to live alone. Also, to think my “homies” (this is how I call my family. Lol) somehow missed me after 2 years…So, I think it was just right and rational to stay and make some plans to make things better.

 
Staying with my homies made my life easier in terms of handling basic problems/tasks but this is not what I wanted. I want something different; I want something new, and something that I believe would make my life more interesting and wonderful. Don’t get me wrong I love my homies, but I have plans and goals for myself. And, having plans and goals are not enough…we have to do something and we have to start at some point as well.

Few months have past, made some plans and took some actions to remove my hesitations of moving out. And finally, this will be the year where I can do that. I know that a lot of things will change in different aspects in my usual routines but I confidently enough to say that I can handle that (Chicken Feed! Lol). Not to mention, I already experienced living alone and can honestly say that I’ve learned a lot like cooking different dishes, budgeting, waking up without alarm clock and so on. (Lol) Again, I have no complains because these things made me a stronger person today.

I think I’m a bit dramatic in iterating the details of my first goal for this year – but you can’t blame me because this is something really important to me (I have the rights!). Having said that, I’d realized as well that, it will be helpful for this goal to really happen if I write it and post it in my blog. This way, I will be constantly reminded that this goal should happen. There are several reasons why I want to move out and I don’t want to discuss or elaborate it anymore; because we might simply get bored. Lol

Little you know, our country values the term “Close Family Ties” which has a hidden and irrational definition (If I must say). Anyways technically, at my age I don’t really need my parent’s permission in doing some stuffs about my life but with utmost respect; I still did ask for their permission which turned out not really asking but more on explaining why (Lol). Nothing much they can do, they just agreed. So, come this February and that will obviously next month…I will start living alone…again.

I know at some point it will be hard but I think it will turn out good…again (personal reasons). I made some questions below which I also hilariously answered and I think you can ask yourselves if you considering moving out.

1. Is the place or area where you wish to stay is close enough to where you work or study?

Yes!

2. If working, do you think you have the financial capability to rent without compromising your plans in terms financial aspect of your life? (Too deep, but totally relevant)

I hope so.

3. Do you think you are responsible enough to handle the basic/complex aspect of living alone? (i.e., preparation of food, hygiene, budgeting and so on)

Hmmm, yes?!

4. Finally, ask yourself if you think, things will be better if you move out?

True! (Lol)

I did not put all the questions I’d used for coming up this decision. I just wanted to share these initial questions that you can ask to yourselves if you ever plan moving out. I am not saying that everyone should do it or rushing moving out. I just want to say that this is same principle in making basic decisions, if you think doing something will put you in a better status, then why wouldn’t try. At the end of the day, your pursuit to happiness is your sole reason in doing things and staying alive.

I’ll leave you with a quote below:

“Everything we do in life gives us the experience, knowledge and wisdom we will share to others. So, for that, we should not be afraid in doing things but perhaps be brave yet cautious.”

Approved by:

Insipid :)

So, without any further do…On behalf of my little penguins…we would all like to greet you a HAPPY AND PROPEROUS NEW YEAR!!!!

Happy New Year!!! Save the Artic Circle!!!

I put dots (circles) in the message to represent Ching Ching and according to “Feng Shui Experts”…Yellow is the lucky color for 2012…So, not bad to change the usual color for my doodle! Lol

Always remember –

Humor won’t cost anything and happiness is a choice!

 
 
 
Side-note:

WP congratulates me for completing my 20 posts goal. And, as for my response – Well, thank you WP! Lol

Ehem...just bragging! Lol

Enjoy life and never stop finding happiness!

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Inpisid – Wishing you a Happy New Year as well!

I have no intention to post something today BUT as I’ve said I want to see if I will be able to finish this despite the fact that my interest in writing today is close to nil and I just decided to be lazy. So, here it goes –

As you know, our Earth is really struggling because of the Global Warming. And not everyone is doing something to make our world a better place to live in and make it even worse; which is obvious that our space experts are already studying other planets (i.e. Mars) which they think can be as an alternative to Earth.

As humans, we are really something – like the recent news that we just “deplanetized” Pluto as one of our planets and do you know that anyone from Earth can sell a property of a lot of the moon with of course a document to legalized that? (See the information?! – You welcome!)

Going back to our planet, constantly Earth is already doing things that beyond its normal behavior. There are super-typhoons, huge holes, climate changed and so on. The question is – What are we doing to change/fix that?

I know that talking about this topic is really vague and already common BUT again as I’ve said I just want to complete this post to win in my self-challenge and hopefully influence you to start something good that can help in making our Earth live longer. I don’t even want to go into scientific studies anymore just to elaborate more about our Earth’s condition; just look outside and it will be obvious that a lot of things had changed.

We only need one reason to make things right and a million ways to do that or make it happen. And these things can be done seriously which if we did that way, – most likely it can be boring. Thus, allowing us to give us reason to stop. Well, lucky for you, there are also ways we can do things a little different and at the same time enjoy doing it.

Here is a very good example:

One day…

One day...

And, instead of normal way…we can do it “my way”:

Who wouldn't laugh doing this? - You enjoyed and helped at the same time!

See! – that is another way to do that. The combination of doing something right, sharing your part to the planet and having fun at the same time. That is another way we can do occasionally whenever we want to put a little humor in doing things and not in a usual way.

You already had fun at the same time, made our Earth laughed in doing it. (but don’t missed because u’ll be pissed – Whooaa! this rhymes…Lol)

Just a little reminder that we can do things a little better without losing our interests – just because it is common and boring.

Anyways, a quote that I would like to share below –

We know a lot about celebrities and social networking than Global Warming – yet we don’t do anything.

There! I think I won my self-challenge. Although it seems really short and somehow incomplete but I think I managed to deliver what my intentions are.

Again, have a wonderful and green day! Enjoy life!

Approved by:

Insipid

I honestly say that without any forms; I can prove to myself that I can work, I have no legal obligation or committed any crime but I am not sure if I’m a well-rounded individual because aside from having a fair weight ( get it? relation between well-round and weight?) I’m not sure if I really understand what “well-rounded” means.

Moving on, HR gave me an ultimatum (just 2 days! where is the mercy?!) to submit this form proving that I am not committed with any crime or currently in pending case. So, as soon as I went out from work I rush to nearest office where I can get this document.

And brace it! just right after I stepped inside their office…Boom! A very very very long (see how long?)  line of people waiting for this office to open. The office will start at 8AM and I came there 6:30AM…I just imagined how early these people have been waiting.  So, despite the time difference and the awareness that I have to wait for almost 2 hours and the assumption that I have to wait even more than that…I waited and fell in line.

(Few hours past and the office started doing their usual deed)

The line started to move and people started to be optimistic including me. However, some people somehow lost their interests that they started doing things to keep enthusiastic. Some started eating,  talked with the person beside them, some were listening to music, some started “flirting” (What?!), some started reading book (I’m alone doing this) and last, some started using their phones and probably texting or playing games.

As our lines started to move and respective queues have been serviced. Those “some” were still busy with their activities and some are really focused that they seem to forget that they were still in line.

(Sigh! I cannot go further anymore. Clearly! This story is too long for me to finish but without any intention of disappointing you, I made this effort to finish my first doodle about what happened.)

This doodle illustrates a very good example of Human trafficking (but,  for the purpose of humor – I draw them as Penguins!!!!!)

Clearly, some people are too busy causing the traffic. Hence, called it "Human Trafficking"

You’re not serious that I’m just kidding about the term Human Trafficking, right? ( I’m definitely against the real one!)

Anyways, since this is my first time to post my doodle; I hope you enjoyed it because you’ll never know…it might end up together with Picasso’s arts. (Miracle happens everyday! Lol)

So,  another day, another experience!…have a great day to all and enjoy life!

Approved by:

Insipid

Whenever my weekdays are over and no errands during the weekends…I usually decide to go to a Spa for a body massage. (this is wholesome, don’t worry!)

Usually, I go for very specific types of massage (Swedish, Shiatsu or Thai) but this time I have decided to go and have a Reflexology. I’d realized that its been a while since I had one (years ago) and I felt that I wanted my bones to move and make some knuckle sounds. Lol

So, instead of my normal Spa I went to a different Spa. And, here’s what happened:

Went inside this Spa and greet the receptionist (not sure if she was really the Receptionist)

(Translated in English)

Me: Hi!

Lady: Hello!

Me: I want to ask about the massage you offer on Reflexology?

Lady: Sure Sir, what to do want to know?

Me: How much is this?

Lady: Normally, we offer it for P500 but since we are in promo we give it for P300.

Me: (thinking I was lucky to save my money). Wow! Great!

Lady: Would you like to put in the list Sir!

Me: Yes, please.

Lady: Although, you have to wait because our Masseur is currently on break. But, she’ll be back in a few minutes.

Me: Ohhh! No problem. I can wait.

Lady: You may sit down in our couch while waiting.

Me: Thank you!

(Few minutes past and the lady left (I think went on break as well), so I was alone in the reception)

While waiting, a different lady stepped in.  She sat on other side of the couch and relaxed.  At this moment, I have still no idea that she is the Masseur that we were waiting. Few seconds while sitting, she started a conversation with me…and this is how it started to mess up and I end up uncomfortable.

Masseur: Hi!

Me: Hello!

Masseur: Are you going to have a massage?

Me: (Obviously! But I politely respond) Yes, I wanted to have a reflexology today Hmm. – Just for a change.

Masseur: Ah! Okay, where are you from? (1^st hit)

Me: Oh! I just live near by.

Masseur: Here? Within this area? What street? (2^nd hit)

Me: Oh! Actually, not this area but very close here. I usually passed by your Spa whenever I go to work.

Masseur: Ah, Okay, What do you do?

Me: I work as a programmer in an Insurance company.

Masseur: Where? (3^rd hit)

Me: Just very close here…in Alabang (Someplace in Philippines)

Masseur: How old are you? (4^th hit and this started making uncomfortable talking to her. But, no choice I have to stay polite. So, I answered.)

Me: Oh! I’m 27.

Masseur: Are you married?  (5^th hit, Whoooaahh! Hold the phone! I am not applying for dating service or something here…I just want a massage. But, once again I stayed polite.)

Me: No. No plans yet. (Looking at a different direction just to show her that I am starting to be uncomfortable to her questions)

Masseur: Ah, Okay.

Last question that really made me react.

Masseur: So, you’re still single?

Me: I made my sarcastic laugh and asked her in a funny way…”Am I applying for a job or something here?!” Lol

Masseur: Lol (then she stopped asking)

***Talking about being polite! Eh?

Right at the moment, the first lady stepped in…

Lady: Oh that’s her, Sir, wanted to have Reflexology. Are you done on break?

Masseur: Yes, Alright Sir, I’ll just prepare your spot/cubicle/room. (Whatever?! she said room but for the sake of staying wholesome I gave you choices)

Me: (Laughing) you’re my Masseur, Hahaha! After asking me those questions and interviewing me?! That would help!

Masseur: Don’t worry Sir! “I won’t look”. (Laughing as well)

Honestly, it was cool with me.  Besides, I am quite comfortable with my body (In she want to see it. Lol)  and I have an effective way to handle these type of scenarios and remove uncomfortable feeling (for me I guess). But seriously, it is really awkward to think that this lady is going to be my Masseur after asking me those questions. Personally, I think that going to a Spa and get a massage is already a bit awkward but moments like these made it even worst for me.

But to sum it up, I think the “Masseur” is being nice and probably building a rapport to her clients which I think she’s doing it a bit over the top. As for the experience, the conversation is really uncomfortable especially I am inside their Spa and but qualify of massage – hmmm, really relaxing.

I will not go back to that Spa anymore though.

Anyways, I think my experice about is really funny. I don’t know about you but you made it thru this part. So, I’m glad. I hope you enjoyed my “witty” ( that’s what they say about me) and really awkward story.

Once again, have a great day and enjoy life!

Approved by:

Insipid

Somehow I feel I need to say something about the word “Failure”.

We all know that this word really sucks and evidently we are all not exempted to that. Everyone will fail at something and at some point; even though they followed their perfect plans which personally I would say that there is no such thing as perfect. But, what’s interesting about failure is the aftermath.

Regardless of whether the failure is about careers, relationships, minor things, major things and so on – we will react because simply we are affected and sadly some of these will also affect people that surround us.

Personally, I would say…
 

“Failure is not important, but how to respond to that is really what matters.”

 
I will never say that we should not be careful or accept that we will fail but instead we should anticipate that everything is bound to happen not as always according to what we have expected or planned. Which sometimes being pessimist is necessary without removing the optimism in case that we went the other way around.

I always say this to my friends and some of the people who ask my opinion or help…
 

“Follow your guts in choosing what you think is right for you!”

You might be wondering why? Aside from the obvious very positive message, the objective of the message is to give them the hint (perhaps their answers) on what they think is right for them as well as giving them a way to weigh things over. Saying that somehow I believe I am giving them assurance that they can surpass whatever problem they have especially when somebody is confuse on what to do and making them think that whatever they choose, they can accept the aftermath of it. Because, choosing what we think is the RIGHT and RATIONAL for us entails the assurance that we will not have regrets regardless of the aftermath.

We will all have our down moments, so we can choose to be bitter or we can choose to be happy while of course working on how to turn things around.

So, my friend, “Cheer up! And be inspired!”

P.S.

I hope my post above did not confuse you. I know I talked a lot about cheering up but not being inspired…Well, the post goes for the inspiration.

My reason for this why I made this is simply because – If ever, somebody is really lonely or confused and apparently reading my posts…He/She will be a bit relieved after reading this.
 
 
As always, have a great day and Ho Ho Ho Ho seasons!

Approved by:

Insipid